I have a great boyfriend. He's smart and funny and weird and takes great care of me. We've been seeing each other for about a month but only until recently, it's been "official", not that that really matters. When we're together things are just awesome and I feel like we're on a really good level of being in each other's leagues. Regrettably, I can try really hard to be just the kind of girlfriend that any guy would want, especially him just because I want him to be proud of having me.
But then there is Tumblr. I fucking live on tumblr these days, and my boyfriend has a tumblr as well. Here's the thing though, on his tumblr he seems like the coolest mother fucker ever. Well, I think he is a pretty cool mother fucker but he's a lot more awkward in person and that doesn't really show up on his tumblr. I know he has a lot of girls that follow him that have crushes on him and tell him that he's cute and actually that doesn't really bother me. It's this one bitch I really don't like.
She actually lives back home where I do, and we used to be really good friends, and I thought she was super fucking cool and everything. But I was friends with her when I was 17 and a mess and I had decided to go to a random trip to pittsburgh to see a guy and she got all motherly with me and we got in a fight and didn't really talk since. So basically, ever since then she's disliked me, EVEN 2 YEARS LATER. So this bitch and my boyfriend are all bff's on tumblr. Fuck, they are always liking each other's shit and reblogging it and all of that, and he doesn't really do that with my tumblr. But what bothers me more than anything is because I'm not dumb, I know they have a thing for each other. First of all she's prettier, smarter, and older than me, and I'm almost positive if she lived here and not in Ohio he'd be with her. Second of all, when I first found out they were friends on tumblr I went and followed her and tried to be her friend and she followed me for about 2 days and then unfollowed me and stopped responding to my messages when I was just trying to be friendly. SO SHE STILL DOESN'T LIKE ME, probably now because I'm dating the guy she wants to be with. Does my boyfriend know any of this? No, he wouldn't get it. So she's always fucking commenting on his pictures and he's reblogging shit she posts and I can't stand it. He's MY boyfriend, not yours. I know you want to be with him, but he's with me. I hate hate hate that she doesn't like me, what the fuck is her issue? Like really? UGH. And then, I'm NOT dumb! I know he obviously has a thing for her, which of course makes me feel inadequate. But I think what sucks more than any of this is I'm not a jealous person, I really am truly not. But this bitch just really knows how to bother me, and I can't tell him any of this because it's a waste of time.
I really hope he understands how much this bitch wants him and that I know they like each other and I still deal with it. It's not like he has any of that with anybody with me, all the guys that want me live in fucking London, and they just like me for sex. He's one of the first amazingly nice and caring guys who doesn't just want me for sex, so of course I want him to myself. In a perfect world I would love for him to post something on his tumblr about me being his girlfriend and how much he likes me, but I know he won't. His tumblr is his ego and pride, and if he says he has a girlfriend he'll lose his tumblr crushes, so of course he won't. I've just, idk I've always kind of wanted a guy that would be more than happy to show me off as his girlfriend and it's like in person yeah he does, but idk it would be kind of nice if he would post something about having me as his girlfriend on his tumblr. Shouldn't I be enough for him? Sometimes I don't feel like I am.... :/
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