I am the girl who is feeling alone.

Yeah, it's gonna get cliche, and real fast. I've gone through far too many guys this summer to count on one hand, and yeah I'm okay with that and blah blah blah. But as much as one would think that someone like me wouldn't feel lonely because of all the guys that give me attention and what not, they are wrong. I'm only living like this because, well right now it's in my comfort zone. Everything about my life right now is in my comfort zone until I move. I'm doing everything I can to have no connections to anyone around here and just have a warm body next to me one night or another.

...but damn this shit gets old quickly.

I've been told every line in the mother fucking book, and not once, MULTIPLE times. So you would think it wouldn't make a difference to me when someone tells me that they care right? Nope. I'm dumb enough to enjoy those moments every single time (not to an extreme degree mind you). But right now as I was lying in bed I was thinking to myself "I really feel alone". Yeah, I know we all feel alone and what not and I'm not saying that my feeling alone is any different from anyone else's I get that. Just right now, to have someone I could call and talk to who I know actually cares, would mean a hell of a lot, and truth of the matter is I don't get that a lot. And unfortunately, the guys who will give me that, I don't want, because I'm a shallow and picky bitch. I want my cake and I want to eat it too because I have ridiculously high standards....for a said boyfriend at least. Everyone else, just have to be attractive enough I guess.

So what I'm really trying to get at here is that I'm being vulnerable right now in admitting my feelings of loneliness, and I'm okay with it.  I just really wish that a guy I was sincerely attracted to would be there for me to talk to, and I know I may have to wait a pretty damn long time to find that person, but I'm okay with that. It's just in this moment right now, I want to be held. Kissed on the forehead. Cuddled. And reassured that I'm cared about, by a guy who I can look at and appreciate his physical qualities to a tee. Yep, I'm a picky bitch that's whining. And I don't really care. :)