I am a girl who is missing someone.

I know I haven't posted anything on here for a while, so figured it was time for something new.

I hate more than anything that every single day I miss someone who doesn't exist. If you know me, you know that I was in a relationship with a girl for 6 months that had an extremely rocky ending. I won't go into details, but it basically came down to she was very mentally ill and this caused a lot of problems in the relationship. When you date someone who has bipolar disorder and depression, it's an uphill battle to say the least. So you're probably thinking, why would I miss someone who is so severely mentally ill, they are almost incapable of functioning? Because who she pretended to be, who she showed me she was, was one of the most beautiful people I've ever met.

Now, I've dated my fair share of guys, but dating a girl threw me for a loop, one for the first 4 months was a fantastic ride. I have never been that close with someone and this girl and I had not only a relationship, but a friendship that had me thinking I was happier than I've ever been. Dating a woman when you are a woman is so satisfying because you reach a different level of closeness, one that I never thought was even possible. So this girl, who I learned in the end wasn't the girl I thought, made me feel so comfortable, so loved, and so fantastic for the first 4 months of our relationship.

And nobody, yes NObody can cuddle like she did. I miss seeing her face more than anything, by god was she drop dead beautiful. She was funny and smart and clever and loved deeper, stronger than anyone. So yes, I miss her. Now, I know that the girl I miss isn't real but my god, what I wouldn't give to find someone else who processed all her fantastic traits. I don't really feel like dealing with someone else with severe mental issues, IT'S CALLED THERAPY PEOPLE, WORKS WONDERS. I just haven't been able to meet anyone who really reaches my standards at this point enough for me to want to be with them and only them. I don't choose to date multiple people, it's just that I can't really find someone I like enough to settle for them, but even though I'm not seeing only one person, I'm lonely as hell. I want more than anything to have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now, but god knows that finding someone who would want to be my significant other for ya know, a month and a half before I move is nearly impossible. I just miss not only my ex girlfriend, someone to care, someone to really cherish me and make the effort to show me this.

I miss you. </3