I can't take it anymore. I have to write this out. I may seem psycho and be in wayy too deep but fuck that shit. I need someone, somewhere to hear this.
It comes down to this. There is this new boy in my life, a boy who actually gives a damn.
I spent 27, yes 27 hours straight with him. For those of you who don't know me I never spend that much time with someone I romantically care about. I just don't. But he's the exception.
His name is Noah. He is an actual full fledge gentleman, and I can't believe it. Not only has he paid for every date we've ever gone on, but he's so down to earth it boggles my mind. He doesn't take himself or whatever we have too seriously. He doesn't look hugely ahead of the future to scare the shit out of me, but the way he treats me all I keep thinking is "Holy shit I can't wait for him to be my boyfriend." He's not overly cheesey, but my god the things he'll say to me can make my heart skip a beat.
We were walking back from a costume party together and I was pretty tipsy; everyone at the party gave us a year. As I was drunkly telling him I never thought of myself as a beautiful person he looks at me and tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful, in a way that wasn't heart stopping and cheesey, that was real. He's real. It's real when he tells me how amazing it feels to hold me in his arms. It's real when he tells me the sexiest thing about me is my confidence. It's real when he gets excited to share with me his music and movies. And nothing is more real that the 8 hours we spent in my bed today just holding each other, kissing and holding each other. I didn't want it to end.
He's nerdy, he's awkward, he's not perfect, but he cares about me. He is stunned when I'll cook him food, hell I made him breakfast, lunch and dinner today and he couldn't believe it. He'll look at me at the most random times and tell me how adorable I look. He has NO problem telling me exactly how he feels about me, how much he likes me and how he can see me as his girlfriend. We've talked about things I can't even believe we've talked about. When I told him I had an ex boyfriend physically harm me, he wrapped his arms around me and held me so tight. He doesn't care that I've made mistakes in the past, and he doesn't care that I'm not perfect. Fuck, he's written two beautiful poems about me.
We are not falling in love. We are not rushing things, because we are logical. But holy fuck is this shit amazing. Every morning I wake up with a good morning text, whether it actually says "Good Morning" or "Be Amazing Today". Like seriously, I would have to be made of ice not to be touched by this shit.
Noah, I hope this really goes somewhere. I like you more than I've liked anyone in a while, and I want to take care of you. Thank you for everything so far, and I can't wait for this to blossom.
